People do not, and cannot, choose their sexuality
Image courtesy of Wallpaper Flare.
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On Feb. 26 the Daily News published a letter to the editor from a Mary White of Eglin Air Force Base, who wrote to lament that her daughter is a lesbian.
In her letter, Ms. White emphasized that her daughter had chosen this sexual orientation, and that the Bible proscribes homosexuality as a sin. If she were to condone this sin, Ms. White wondered, who would pray for her daughter?
Other writers supported Ms. White’s position in subsequent letters to the editor.
I do not.
While I’d rather not embarrass Ms. White and the others, I cannot agree with this nonsense that people choose their sexuality, or that homosexuality is a “sin.” That kind of backward thinking has produced more suffering than any other human shortcoming, and I must speak against it.
A traditional explanation for homosexuality centers on the idea that circumstances of a child’s very early years influence her sexual orientation, although recently doctors have uncovered intriguing physical differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals that suggest a gene, or brain chemistry, might produced changes in sexual orientation.
But nobody – I emphasize the word nobody – who is in a position to even express a hypothesis about this question believes choice is a factor. A person can no more choose her sexual orientation than she can choose the color of her skin.
And the notion that a person’s sexual orientation amounts to a moral failing is downright barbaric. How can a person be held morally responsible for something over which she has no choice?
Such ideas fall into that category of outmoded beliefs we are struggling to discard, beliefs that have resulted in a long, sad history of injustices: racial discrimination, religious intolerance, slavery, even genocide.
The “debate’ would be comical were it not that real people are suffering real pain. The sorry truth is that homosexuals are the last minority group it is still OK to discriminate against, and one day people will look back on these days with shame. They ought to.
Meanwhile, speculations about cause and morality aren’t important here. If I were the parent of a lesbian, I’d be asking these questions:
Is my daughter a functioning, contributing member of society?
Does she do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wages?
Does she pay her taxes and abide by the law?
Does she tell the truth, respect her elders, pay her debts and occasionally give something back to the world?
Does she love?
Is she happy?
If the answer to most of those questions were an enthusiastic “Yes!” I’d feel the pride due a parent has done a pretty good job of raising his kid.
My only regret would be that my child might suffer at the hands of people who still do not understand that life, and love, are more wondrous than any of us can imagine.
And that maybe the good Lord knew what he was doing after all.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, Ello and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Despite the name "Golden Girl" appearing near the nose of this B-24, it's real name is "All American" and was operated by the Collings Foundation of Massachusetts. The author flew aboard the "All American" on a hop from Panama City to Crestview in March 1998. Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.
On March 4 it was my honor to fly aboard the “All American,” the world’s only operational B-24 Liberator. This World War II-era bomber, restored and operated by the Collings Foundation of Stowe, Mass., flew from Panama City Airport to Bob Sikes Airport in Crestview along with the “Nine-O-Nine,” a similarly restored B-17.
This is what our flight was like:
As you stand in the prop wash of those big Pratt & Whitney engines, memories that aren’t even yours blow over you: strains of Benny Goodman and images of skinny 19-year-olds in flak vests and a fervent wish that no matter what happens, the old girl is good for one more ride.
You crawl through a hatch on the bottom of the fuselage. Your first impression is that this is not your father’s Oldsmobile – it’s your grandfather’s.
Virtually everything that is covered up, carpeted or padded in a commercial airliner is laid out for all the world to see – steel ribs, control cables, ammo boxes, oxygen tanks, rotating gun turrets – everything.
They fire up the engines and clouds of white exhaust sweep into the wash, something called “churn and burn,” according to a former tail gunner who’d come out to see her take off. It’s oil that seeped into the cylinders. It burns off.
Once all four engines are running cleanly you taxi out to the runway. The engine noise is deafening – you have to shout at the guy sitting next to you to make yourself heard.
When they throttle up to take off, she sprints down the runway with amazing power. The landscape rushes by with increasing velocity, the sound of the wind grows louder, and the old girl bounds into the air.
This is flying like you’ve never experienced. The waist gun ports, about the size of your refrigerator door, are totally open. Stick your head out there and see what 300 mph feels like.
You have to be careful where you step. The bomb bay doors, for instance, are designed to tear away if something heavy – like you – falls on them. Slip off the narrow catwalk and there’s nothing between you and the ground but 2,000 feet of Northwest Florida afternoon.
Wind howls through the aft part of the airplane. The cold is amazing. You think of those kids in their fleece-lined jackets, aiming .50-calibers at incoming fighters, and you wonder how in the name of God they did it.
The trip takes an hour. When you get to Crestview, you come in at treetop level and buzz the airport. The world spins crazily as you climb and simultaneously bank for the go-around to land.
You get out and pat her on the fuselage and tell her, “Good airplane,” and two important changes have taken place over the afternoon.
Now that you’ve had a taste of what it was like to fly in these airplanes, you have a new awe and respect for the men who flew them into war.
And maybe you’re a little said that never, not in your entire life, will you ever do anything as fine as what those men did.
But you have done something that not many people will get to do anymore. You flew aboard a B-24 Liberator.
The old girl was good for one more ride.
This column was originally published in the Wednesday, March 11, 1998 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News and is used with permission.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .