Guys, take it easy on Jessa

Mom always said: “Never tangle with anybody who’s got access to 100,000 watts of FM power.”

I thought that was barrels of ink, but whatever.

Some mornings I listen to 99Rock’s “The Morning Movement” with Murph and Galvin.

They describe themselves as “Murph and Galvin.” But it’s really Murph, Galvin AND Jessa.

And before I go any further – NO, this isn’t a cheap attempt to get myself on the radio. Truth is I’m scared to death of radio. They don’t call me “Dead Air Del” for nothing. Ask Scratch and Lauri at Z96. Ask Woofy. Ask the guys at MIX 103. Ask that Marconi guy.

Anyway, Murph and Galvin are pretty darned clever, funny, blah blah blah – OK, tribute paid and now I can get to raggin’. Actually I won’t rag on those two. They’re too fast and too jugular-oriented. I wouldn’t stand a chance.

But there is this one thing they do almost every morning that bugs me so much I can’t keep my big mouth shut any longer.

They rag on Jessa.

I mean, they REALLY rag on Jessa.

Sweet, innocent little Jessa, trapped in a tiny room with two … um … extremely talented and witty fellows who nonetheless ran on her without mercy.

And before I go any further – NO, this is not a cheap attempt to get myself a date with Jessa. The only place I’d feel right taking her is a Cradle Robbers Anonymous meeting.

Anyway, I sneaked a peek at 99Rock’s Web site and the photos of Murph, Galvin and Jessa. Now guys, I’m not trying to insult you. Believe me, I’ve got no room to talk when it comes to issues of appearance. For instance, I don’t have to wear a costume on Halloween. Depending on how much conditioner I put in my hair I can go as either Gandolf or Gollum.

But guys, after looking at your pix I gotta say: You need Jessa. Believe me, you NEED her. It’s like those moments of peaceful relief in a horror movie … you need that. Otherwise, the audience dies of fright.

Yeah, I know. The audience CAN’T SEE Jessa unless they browse the 99Rock Web site. But they can HEAR her, and I gotta say, Jessa’s got a great voice. She sounds like she looks.

Jessa’s job is to read the news, the stupid news and other stuff, and that’s where she runs into trouble with Murph and Galvin … she occasionally stumbles over a word and they give her hell for it.

Well, who wouldn’t stumble over a word when you’re stuck in a room with two psychos – did I mention they’re extremely talented and witty psychos – that have to be watched at all times lest they do something weird (maybe carnal) to you?

All that aside, Jessa is a pleasant force of moderation who makes the whole thing work, so guys, lay off! You need her.

And believe me, so do the rest of us.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .

I don’t get it.

How can a Jack Kevorkian be thrown in jail for helping perfectly lucid people with terminal illnesses commit suicide, when a comatose Terri Schiavo is inhumanely starved to death with the active consent of the courts?

Could it be the judicial system in this country believes nobody – but it – is allowed to play God?

This isn’t about Terri Schiavo. This is about how a person who hears death knocking should be allowed to open the door.

Let it be known: If I ever end up like Terri Schiavo, for God’s sake, pull the plug. I can’t imagine how awful my life would be under those circumstances, but I do know how awful it would be for the people left to take care of me. I wouldn’t want to inflict such a burden on them.

Nor do I wish to suffer a horrible lingering death with my wits and dignity intact.

Why can’t I do that now? Because euthanasia for the most part is illegal in the United States, due to outmoded and irrelevant moral and legal “standards” that uphold primitive notions about propriety regarding end-of-life issues.

Euthanasia isn’t wrong and it isn’t right. It simply is – or should be – an issue to be decided by the person to whom it applies.

But the terminally ill person isn’t allowed to decide when he’s ready to pack it in for the day. He must continue on, suffering miserably until “natural” death overtakes him.

I don’t get it.

Typically opponents of euthanasia fear “abuses” where people are put to death against their wishes or allowed the suicide option when they aren’t in command of their mind.

Also, the notion of “life at all costs” pervades our thinking – even it doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense.

Any right-thinking person has no wish to die. It’s wired into our being that life is precious and must be preserved at extraordinary cost. Anything less becomes something monstrous.

But what happens when the issue of imminent death is a certainty, and the intervening weeks between the present and that dark future are know to be fraught with debilitating pain and suffering? Might some people choose the alternative to sticking it out until the awful, inevitable conclusion?

How, in a world where a person who has no voice in her fate is handed the death option, can another person who is able to make his wishes known be forced to suffer?

Could it be the lens of justice has become fogged by high clouds enshrouding that ivory tower?

I just don’t get it.

This column was originally published in the Saturday, May 7, 2005 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News and is used with permission.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .