On April 1, 2025, strike a blow for freedom and democracy
In November 2000 Florida played a pivotal role in the election of George W. Bush as president of the United States.
On April 1, 2025, Florida can atone for that sin in a special election to fill two U.S. House seats. One is in District 6 and pits Democratic candidate Joshua Weil against Republican Randy Fine to fill the congressional seat vacated by Michael Waltz, who is now Donald Trump’s national security adviser. The other is in our own District 1, where Democrat Gay Valimont hopes to beat Republican Jimmy Patronis for the seat once held by Matt Gaetz, who resigned to be Trump’s attorney general.
If the Democrats win both seats they’ll reduce the Republican majority in the House to only three votes, which would severely constrain Trump’s efforts to steal our democracy.
I live in District 1 and I’ve looked into the candidacies of both Valimont and Patronis. You could not ask for a more stark contrast between two candidates.
Patronis has not once presented any idea or suggestion as to how he might represent the people of District 1 or make their lives better. All he has done is wrap himself in the flag of Donald Trump and blathered about how the Democrats hate MAGA.
Valimont, on the other hand, has a wealth of ideas.
For instance, she wants to locate a VA hospital in the Florida panhandle. That makes sense, given the panhandle’s large population of military personnel, both active duty and retired. To the west, in Escambia County, we have Pensacola Naval Air Station. In the county adjoining Escambia, Santa Rosa, lies Whiting Field, a Navy flight training school. To the far east is Tyndall Air Force Base. Here in Okaloosa County we have Eglin Air Force Base, the largest by area Air Force base in the world; Hurlburt Field, an Air Force special operations base; Duke Field, for the Air Force Reserve; an Army cantonment for the 7th Special Forces, and the Destin Coast Guard station at the foot of the Marler Bridge.
The nearest VA hospital is in Biloxi, Miss. My father, when he was being treated for cancer, had to drive to Biloxi, about 2½ hours west of Fort Walton Beach. The VA has a clinic at Eglin but not a hospital.
Valimont also wants to protect the military mission, from Eglin’s water test ranges to military benefits for both active duty and retired, and the F-35 program, which Trump has threatened to cut.
She also wants to reinstate President Joe Biden’s cap on insulin costs. When Biden was president, insulin was capped at $35 per dose. When Trump was elected he eliminated that cap and now insulin costs vary widely, depending on whether a patient has insurance, what kind of insurance they have, and who the insulin supplier is.
Valimont says she has a plan for reducing the cost of homeowner’s insurance by 25 percent. As you know, homeowner’s insurance is a very big deal here in the state of Florida, where hurricanes have driven up the costs of insuring a house to the point where many homeowners are simply going without. My policy runs me about $4,000 per year, so a 25 percent cut would save me about $1,000.
Democrats have a long tradition of looking out for the interests of Northwest Florida. Back when I was a kid, Bob Sikes, the old he-coon, protected the panhandle’s military mission and generally looked after the folks who live here. My impression is Valimont wants to fill a similar role.
So on April 1, 2025, I’ll be voting for Gay Valimont. If you live in Florida’s District 1 I hope you’ll do the same. If you live in District 6 please consider voting for Josh Weil.
Together, we can strike a blow for the preservation of freedom and democracy in this country.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Elon Musk. Image by Gage Skidmore. CC license
I think the honeymoon between Diaper Donnie and his master, Elon Musk, will come to an end sometime this year.
Musk is sinking in the polls faster than a Model 3 driven off a short pier. His approval rating is so low you’d need a front-end loader to excavate it. At some point Diaper Donnie will realize Musk is like an anchor, dragging him down, and he’ll cut him loose. That’s what Diaper Donnie does.
Musk deserves to be cut loose because he’s doing a terrible job. It’s almost comical. Were it not for Musk’s ego he could have looked to the recent past to see how a government efficiency campaign can be done correctly.
In the early 1990s, when Bill Clinton was elected, he appointed his vice president, Al Gore, to head up an effort to make the government more efficient and cost-effective. Gore formed a commission of experts to study the problem and get back to the president and Congress with a plan of action.
After months of examination, Gore and his National Performance Review staff presented a list of almost 400 recommendations for trimming agencies, combining services and cutting the federal workforce. The NPR report was made available to Congress and the president. It enjoyed bi-partisan support and received Clinton’s endorsement.
In the end, agencies were combined, others were eliminated, and almost 400,000 FTEs were trimmed from the federal workforce. The government saved so much money that Clinton and Congress were able to balance the budget – for years – and there were actually surpluses to pay down the debt.
Contrast that with Musk’s approach.
He didn’t hire a committee of experts. He threw together a bunch of college dropouts, teenage boys and former Twitter employees who went through the government workforce with a virtual chainsaw, firing workers en masse without even understanding their jobs or how they did them. In some cases the severances had to be reversed – at cost to the government – when Musk’s bottom boys discovered they had fired workers with critical responsibilities and irreplaceable knowledge resources essential to the operation of particular agencies.
DOGE has conducted its efforts without congressional oversight and Musk refuses to tell overseers what he’s doing or how he’s doing it. Communication of DOGE methods and intentions has been non-existent beyond a notorious press conference with a confused Diaper Donnie, where Musk spoke in vague platitudes and seemed to use his young son as stagecraft. The victims of DOGE’s bureaucratic clear-cutting have been treated like criminals – shown the door or offered buyouts under threat. Musk has made claims of waste, fraud and abuse that were later debunked, and he’s tossed out numbers that turned out to be erroneous. He has eliminated entities that exert regulatory control over his business interests, an outrageous conflict of interest that has gone unpunished by the current regime.
The result has been what you would expect – chaos, suspicion, acrimony and no small degree of fear on the part of federal employees facing the DOGE Sword of Damocles, and the American people, who wonder if their benefits will be eliminated and their private information auctioned off by this unelected foreign national currently hollowing out the federal government. By some accounts Musk’s circus has cost the American taxpayers over $500 billion – talk about waste, fraud and abuse!
All this is being “overseen” and encouraged by Il Duce, Diaper Donnie, who is hands down the worst president the lowing, bleating, blundering “electorate” of this country has ever allowed to enter the White House. In fact, there are no words to characterize the disaster that man represents. Our country will never be the same and that’s not a legacy to be proud of. If there was ever an argument for requiring a license to vote, Diaper Donnie is it.
But he could fix at least some of it. He’s fond of saying, “You’re fired.” Well, that’s exactly what he should say to Elon Musk and his troupe of Differin-addicted clown boys. Musk, and DOGE, have been an unmitigated disaster.
It’s past time to pull the plug.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
I’ve got a question for the MAGAts:
The other day I filled up the gas tank on my car. The price seemed kind of high so I checked – gas was 23 cents a gallon higher on Wednesday than it was on Jan. 20, 2025, when Joe Biden left office.
Why is that?
I thought your boy, Diaper Donnie, was going to fix all that! Isn’t that what he said? Prices will come down? On day one?
He can’t use the pandemic as an excuse. The United States is the world’s number one producer of oil, so he can’t use that as an excuse. America leads the world in exploring for new oil resources, so he can’t even use that for an excuse.
It’s like the price of eggs. Didn’t he say he was going to lower to the price of eggs? Because I checked this week – eggs are A DOLLAR higher now than they were when Sleepy Joe left office. A DOLLAR!
I don’t get it. Gas prices are higher. Egg prices are higher. Unemployment is higher. Inflation is higher. The only things lower are the stock market and consumer confidence.
Trump said he would lower the price of eggs. Then he said we might have to go through some temporary pain before prices come down. Now he’s saying he wishes people would stop bitching about the price of eggs.
Wow, what an accomplishment. I’m so glad you, ahem, “intellectually impaired individuals” elected Donald Trump president.
He really is making America “great” again.
Or is that “grate”?
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
A couple of alarming developments:
1. The Trump regime has decided any law firm engaging in frivolous litigation will be sanctioned by the federal government, meaning the firm’s attorneys would lose their security clearances and the firm itself would be barred from government contracts. The regime decides which lawsuits are frivolous.
This is the stuff of banana republics. Litigation is the last and best defense against the Trump regime’s abuses of power.
2. Americans re-entering the country are subject to having their electronic devices searched at the discretion of security personnel.
Anything you might have in your phone is now available for scrutiny by the government.
While this has always been the case, the Trump regime has weaponized the inspection of electronic devices, denying entry to non-citizens and harassing citizens whose devices contain media critical of the regime.
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
The other day I saw a video of our new attorney general, Pam Bondi – you know, that Stepford Wife – on one of those so-called news-opinion TV shows – I think it was Fox News (of course) – warning Americans that attacks on Tesla dealerships and Elon Musk would incur the full wrath of the Justice Department.
(For the record, people shouldn’t be torchingTeslas or threatening Musk’s life. But if they want to boycott Tesla and sell their Tesla stock, more power to them! Free markets, private sector, capitalism, rah rah!)
As I watched Attorney General Bimbette go through the motions of representing the nation’s legal interests while in actuality supporting a fascist junta, I said to myself, “Gosh, if she only cared as much about innocent schoolchildren being gunned down in their classrooms by maniacs with assault rifles.
“If she only had the same level of concern for members of the LGBTQ community who are being harassed, beaten and murdered by men who drive great big pickup trucks and have teensy weensy wee-wees.
“And if only the law was being as vigorously applied to her own boss, who is defying a judge’s order that he answer questions about a group of deportees sent to a prison in El Salvador.”
Or is it that the law only protects those who belong to their little club of ass-kissers and taint-lickers? Is that what’s going on, Pammy Pammy?
If I could give Bondi a piece of advice it would be this: Next time you go on TV, check your makeup. You had some kind of orange slime around the edge of your lips.
It wasn’t a good look for you.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
My philosophy has always been: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
That’s what I’m doing right now as I listen to Democrats talk about regaining control of the U.S. House of Representatives as a result of the April 1 special election in the state of Florida. Two House seats, one in District 6, the other in our very own District 1, are up for grabs. In the District 1 race here in the Panhandle, Democrat Gay Valimont is running against Republican Jimmy Patronis.
I’m seeing the same level of delusion among Democrats as I did in the run-up to the presidential election in November 2024. Truth is, as much as I’d like to see Valimont win, I think her chances of doing that are about the same as my chances of being named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, which is to say it ain’t gonna happen.
I say that because I know the people of District 1.
They’re conservative beyond a conservative’s definition of “conservative.” They love Republicans, and they adore Donald Trump.
Donald Trump could take a match and set fire to the actual Constitution of the United States and they’d still vote for him.
Russian shock troops could be marching down Pennsylvania Avenue, assault rifles clutched to their chests, and they’d still vote for Donald Trump.
MAGA brownshirts could swarm over the Florida Panhandle, confiscating their cheap beer, porn, and keys to their boats (well, that one might actually piss them off), and they’d still vote for Donald Trump.
They’d vote for a syphilis-afflicted Beezelbub before they’d vote for a Democrat.
On April 1 I’ll be voting for Gay Valimont, and I hope lots of other people do too. But I’m not deluding myself about her chances.
I’m hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Dear William Hatfield: You once said, “Better living through technology” and I have never forgiven you for that.
William, have you seen my hair lately? It’s all white. I look like I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the ghost of Donald Trump standing by my bedside and … oh, wait. Donald Trump isn’t ghost-adjacent, at least not yet.
William, maybe technology works for you, but for me, Lieutenant Col. Luddite, it’s like screaming at the AI-generated phone tree ’bot that asks, “Do you want to speak to a customer service representative?” to which I respond, “YES! YES! For the 10,653rd time, YES!” and then the ’bot chirps, “Let me transfer you to a new automated menu!”
Not gray hair, William. White hair.
I decided to take your advice and apply the “better living through technology” ideology to my bill-paying. Every month I sat down with a pile of bills – gas, electric, phone, water, TV, internet – and dutifully wrote my paper checks, even balancing my checkbook the old-fashioned way, because all the crossword puzzles, Wheel of Fortune and Prevagen was not helping this withered, atrophied old brain. And then I dutifully deposited these written-on-paper checks in their stamped envelopes and dropped them in that good old-fashioned mailbox, where they were promptly dumped in a wooded area by a disgruntled postal worker taking a stand against “the man.”
So I thought: “Wouldn’t it be easier if these bills were paid directly from my checking account?” Actually, no, it would NOT be easier, but I was determined to live better through technology, so I dove into the world of “auto pay.” Not “bill pay.” They may both have something to do with banks, but auto pay is as different from bill pay as I am different from Timothee Chalamet. We may both be males, but I think it’s a safe bet he does better on the dating apps than I.
So I set up my bills to be paid automatically from my checking account and for the most part it was a pain-free process, except in one case the utility “forgot” my account and started sending me paper bills again, and I expect my water to be cut off any day now from non-payment because I haven’t seen an email from them in weeks.
Next came the credit card bills. Cue the music from “Jaws.”
I have two credit cards. One gives me cash back. The other gives me points I can use at Amazon – and I better not get any grief for shopping at Amazon. I would LOVE to shop at a local business, or even a not-local business. But everybody is so busy living better through technology that they shop online, which in retail terms means Fort Walton Beach has the same beachfront acreage as the Gobi Desert. I HAVE to shop at Amazon.
The first credit card was a simple, 5-minute process. The second? It reminded me of the Apollo 13 mission. “Complex” doesn’t begin to describe. “Infuriating,” “frustrating,” “unintuitive” or even “turning your hair from gray to white” are the words that come to mind.
It was a THREE-DAY process. It involved multiple calls to the bank’s 800 number. A trip to the bank, where the customer service representative tried to tell me (a) it would be easier to set it up from my host bank than THEIR bank because THEIR bank had an antiquated computer system that didn’t like other computer systems. Their computer system IS antiquated. It reminds me of the computer system in place when I started working at the Playgound Daily News in 1979 (Yes, William, I know you weren’t even born in 1979, but trust me. We had a computer system at the newspaper back then. I think there were gerbils in the operating system.) Then (b) she tried to tell me their website had all the answers to my questions (I am shaking my head “no” and smiling ruefully).
So she and I got on the phone with their bank’s “customer service” representatives and even SHE could not get the right information. We were transferred, put on hold, listened to some really awful hold music, and it was not until we were connected with a department that had NOTHING to do with my request that we finally got some resolution.
But wait, we weren’t done. Oh no, there was more. They had to send some test deposits to my account, then make a test withdrawal. After that, I had to re-enter the digital version of Mordor and request some kind of epay ca-ca, verify my checking account (the one they just sent the tests to), then tell it how much to pay every month, plus when to pay.
Three days, William! Three days I’ve been working this problem. And now that it’s over I feel like I should be handed some kind of an award, you know, like a Medal of Persistence with Just for Men clusters.
And guess what? That credit card expires next year. I may have to go through this ALL. OVER. AGAIN.
Next time I’m calling you. You can handle it. Your hair isn’t white – last time I saw it, anyway. I’m digging this “getting old and being helpless” thing.
OK, time for me to go. There’s a warm cup of milk and some Metamucil calling my name. Don’t call or text me, William, because the phone will be in the other room, on the charger. You know how we old farts are.
Every now and again we like to take a break from the benefits of technology.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
A French government official believes the United States should return the Statue of Liberty to France.
The statue was a gift from France in 1886 to celebrate the centennial of America’s independence from England, and it was a symbol of the enduring friendship between France and the United States. Over the years it has become a symbol of freedom for people all over the world.
But with America’s drift toward authoritarianism and its rampant xenophobia, it no longer embodies those ideals.
I think America should return the Statue of Liberty to France. It is no longer worthy of such a statue.
In its place, America should construct a statue of a gigantic golden calf. The MAGAts will understand the significance of that, seeing as how they’re such Biblical scholars.
If not a calf, then a giant golden pig. Pink Floyd fans will know what I mean.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
I can always tell when I’m under attack by a MAGA person because the first thing they do, always, every single time, is they attack me.
They ridicule me for my age. “Oh, look at the old coot. Isn’t it past your bedtime? Get back to the nursing home, Grandpa. You forgot your meds.”
Or they attack my being gay. “You’re just an old queen, a fudge-packer, a groomer, a pedophile. We don’t need to listen to you.”
Finally, they attack my appearance. “Look at your gray hair, the loose skin around your throat, those awful liver spots!”
They never, ever attack the content of my message, and that’s for two reasons: 1. I deal in facts, and it’s hard to argue against facts. 2. They don’t have the intellectual horsepower to argue with me. They’d rather name-call because that’s easy.
And if I respond in kind, if I give them a taste of their own medicine, they cry out, “Oh goodness! He’s calling me names. I’m a victim! Help me, Jesus! Help me!”
Many of the MAGAs I meet are childish halfwits who can’t tell the difference between a con artist and the Constitution.
There, MAGA. How’d you like that? Did it feel good? Ready to repent?
Pathetic.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Here’s the latest assault on our sensibilities: The Supreme Court has agreed to take up a case involving gay conversion “therapy.”
The question is: Do states have a right to ban gay conversion “therapy,” which has already been discredited by the medical community as not only ineffective but downright cruel and barbaric.
What I find incredible is that the court is perfectly willing to let the states decide if a woman can have an abortion, but maybe not so much if a state can decide if a child should be sent to a state-sanctioned torture chamber.
This regime has always cared for the unborn more than the already born, and such a decision would be consistent with that warped philosophy.
Look, folks, you need to care about this because while it may not affect you personally, eventually they’ll come for something that does affect you personally, and we’re all in this together.
I’ll be keeping an eye on the Supreme Court and let you know what they decide.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .