As far back as April 6, 1972, I was blathering my opinion for all to see.
Thanks to Gareth Stearns for these images of the April 6, 1972 Smoke Signals, school newspaper for Choctawhatchee High School, which featured a lengthy column by yours truly.
As far back as 12th grade I was blathering my opinion for all to see, ranting about over-development in the Playground area and inflation (43 cents a gallon for gas? Perish the thought).
A zebra cannot change its stripes!
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Image by Del Stone Jr.
We had a memorial service for Marvin DeBolt on Saturday.
Maybe you remember him. He was the publisher of the Playground Daily News, then the Northwest Florida Daily News, from 1980 to 2004.
Mr. D was known for many things – for instance, he loved golf. They named a golf tournament after him. He was responsible for the Empty Stocking Fund, which continues to this day and has raised millions of dollars for The Salvation Army. He loved his big boat, which he sailed from his home in Cinco Bayou.
And of course, he loved being publisher of the Daily News. In the 24 years he worked there, he doubled the newspaper’s circulation and oversaw a redesign and name change. Not many people know this but he was also responsible for the creation of The Walton Sun, which for a time was the most profitable newspaper in the Freedom Communications portfolio.
He was a large presence in the building, and I think I was a little bit afraid of him. He sat in that office up front like Oz, part of us yet somehow separate. Sometimes the switchboard operator, Marianne, would ring my phone and say, “Can you come up to Mr. D’s office?” With a sinking feeling I’d tell the people sitting near me, “Well, it’s been nice working with you.” He never fired me, though a couple of times he probably should have.
Sometimes people ask me why I worked at that place for so long. I had my reasons, and one of them was the culture. I’ve held lots of jobs but none of them compared to working at the Daily News. It wasn’t just a place where we clocked in at 9 and clocked out at 5. Working there was like working with a family – sometimes a dysfunctional family, a family that didn’t always get along with each other, but a family just the same.
We had a picnic every summer, and sometimes Mr. D gave out prizes, like TVs and microwave ovens. We had an annual Christmas party, and an advertiser appreciation party that even newsroom types were encouraged to attend. One year the staff bought Mr. D a movie theater-style popcorn machine. He’d pop up a batch and everybody in the building would head for the break room, much to the unhappiness of the janitor, who had to clean up that mess. Also, we got Christmas bonuses. I had thought that was a company policy, but no. That was a Marvin DeBolt policy.
We cared about each other.
One day Mr. D walked into the newsroom and asked us, “What’s the Number 1 job of a newspaper in a community?” We, being newsroom types, responded with all the high-minded answers – expose graft and corruption, report the news objectively, speak for those without a voice, and so on.
Mr. D listened patiently, then thundered, “NO! The Number 1 job of a newspaper is to MAKE MONEY! You can’t do those things without first making the money to pay for them!” I don’t think we ever gave a thought about the newspaper being a business, or that our salaries came from all those ads taking up our valuable news hole. We were too busy being high-minded. But it was something I never forgot – the business side of art, the one just as necessary as the other.
Mr. D was a good guy and a decent human being. He represented something that’s missing from the media these days – character. Though we were owned by a large company, he made it feel like a family business, one in which we all had a stake. And he was head of the household.
So farewell, Mr. D. A lot of people are still thinking about you, and that’s about the best legacy a person can ask for.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.
Last night I had the dream again.
You know, the dream. The one where you realize you have a final exam tomorrow for a class you forgot to attend all semester.
Mine is a variation of that dream. It’s 10 o’clock on a Sunday night and I’m just showing up for work at the Daily News. I’m there alone and I’ve got to lay out the front page, local leadoff, Editorial, all the inside news pages and the classified overrun page.
My deadline is two hours away. Oh, and I’m a little hazy on how to use the computer system as it’s been decades since I laid out a page, 31 years to be exact.
Why do I keep having this dream? Why does it always apply to my job of laying out pages – I had LOTS of other jobs at the paper with LOTS more responsibility and deadline pressure.
This version of the dream departed from the others in one way – I was about to say screw it and head home, even though none of the pages had been laid out. Does that mean I’m finally starting to let go?
I can’t badmouth my time at the paper. It provided me with a living for 41 years. I made lots of friends there, people with whom I still communicate, almost like a second family. And there were times when I loved that job so much I’d come in on my day off and work for free.
But there was quite a bit about it I didn’t like – the immense pressure to get it right, the deadlines, the need to go above and beyond the idea of an eight-hour workday. There were some Type A personalities I truly hated, and even a few Type B’s and C’s, and some of the work was deadly dull (I disliked doing B&I or typing in Mr. Piper’s gardening column). I was never a good manager and hated the fact that some of the people who worked with me hated me. I could never make the unpopular decisions, despite being told by one departing editor that I needed to “knock some heads together.”
The job was my life, but I think parts of it gave me PTSD.
Maybe in my next dream I’ll actually get up, go home and call it a career.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, Ello and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
My final memory of that training day – Saturday, May 26, 1979 – was Jim Shoffner handing me a fat three-ring binder to study. It was the instruction manual for the ECRM 7600 (today they’re in PDF form online and called “documentation”).
As I was heading home, driving my dad’s truck down Denton Boulevard in Fort Walton Beach, who should I see but Scott Jacobs, a member of my boy’s tennis team, running along the roadside carrying his saxophone case. I think he was in the Pryor Junior High School Band and was heading to some band event. He stopped and waved; I waved back and kept going. It didn’t occur to me until days later that maybe he thought I’d give him a ride. Sorry about that, Scott!
Then I went home, spread out on my bed, and studied the manual. By today’s standards it was fairly simple – how to copy a file, route a file from one queue to another, create and delete a file, and how to mark up copy for typesetting. Headlines used a code (delta) h (delta) p and then the typesize. Body copy codes were formatted into simple markup codes – (delta) f1, f2, f3 with default widths for each. If you wanted a different width you had to tack on a “set-measure.” For instance, for the width to be 16 picas instead of 12.3 picas, you used (delta) f3@sm1600@ .
Good lord. I can’t believe I still remember that.
Somehow I learned the computer system. New hires were terrified of the computer system and later I would become responsible for training them, a job I still perform, although there’s much, MUCH more to teach these days. Luckily, most people come into the office already knowing how to use a computer.
Back then, never!
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
In this photo the author (right) explains to visitors how the newspaper is assembled during an open house. Photo courtesy of the Daily News.
Very soon, the Daily News will abandon its old, proprietary computer system for a brand new, PC-based computer system.
With this change, we will move up a notch in the high-technology race that seemingly shifted into high gear during the 1980s and has yet to slow down. Every week, we hear about a new gadget or application that offers to make our lives better.
In some cases, these gadgets actually do make life better. I can’t imagine a world without CAT scanners, or even cordless telephones.
But it also seems increasingly true that these gadgets have evolved to such absurd levels of complexity that they no longer serve the people they were intended to help. In fact, they’ve become an end unto themselves.
This fact was driven home to me last week as we began to learn about our new computers and software.
They are amazing machines. They do most anything, and they do it three or four different ways: They check your spelling, check your grammar, play your CDs, fax your files, surf the web and answer your questions.
Therein lies the problem: They are a little too amazing.
They do too much.
It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed when learning an unfamiliar and complicated new skill. But I’m not unfamiliar with these machines, and I’m not a computer Luddite. Yet I am most definitely swooning over the sheer volume of … “stuff” on these machines … and the intricacy of its use.
The computer industry is especially guilty of overcomplicating what should be simple procedures. This overcomplication exists on every level of the computer experience, from the insane number of ways any one command can be executed, down to even the muddy syntax of the “documentation” (computerese for “instruction manual”).
But this overcomplication extends to much of the high technology we are told we need: telephones with so many features that they cannot be deciphered; kitchen appliances that require so much programming to do something that it would be easier to do it by hand; VCRs all across America that blink 12:00; the endless parade of digital cell phones, analog cell phones, pagers, check-writers, electronic games, CD players, DVD, HDTV, LD and DCS. …
I feel like one of the robotic workers in Fritz Lang’s science fiction classics “Metropolis.”
Our purpose is no longer to use these machines to accomplish a task, but to make the machines do everything they are capable of doing.
People are starting to rebel.
The “nesting” phenomenon of the early to mid-’90s was an opening shot in our War of Rejection against this insane spiral of technology. The stress of attempting to cope became too much for some people, who chose to hide out and decompress rather than hurl themselves into the clicking, beeping fray.
These days, the move to lead simple lives manifests our desire for the serenity we enjoyed when people, not machines, were more important.
When our computers are installed, I will try to learn the fastest, easiest and most direct ways to do my work. The rest will stay in the “documentation” – there if I need it, I suppose, but out of sight and, with any luck, out of mind.
This column was originally published in the Wednesday, May 27, 1998 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News and is used with permission.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
This is the Sunday, Feb. 7, 1988 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News featuring the new name and new look. Image by Del Stone Jr.
Our newspaper, the Daily News, has embarked on an ambitious redesign project which I am overseeing, and this has given me the opportunity to investigate many important design questions, foremost among them the question of how much am I going to be paid extra for doing this.
The staff and I have become like brothers and sisters during this project, and though my sisters and I fought to near-death until we were older and wiser and could hire trained killers to manage our inter-family relationships, I have nothing but optimism for the redesign’s eventual success, though I may be witnessing that happy event from the great newsroom in the sky.
If I were to offer a single piece of advice to an editor contemplating a redesign, it would be to lie down and take several pills until the feeling passes or you die. But newspapers must change if they are to survive, which what the last Neanderthal man said as the tool-making Cro-Magnon man sedated him with a large clubbing tool. So to avoid the tar pits I have blundered into, you should consider the following:
WHAT GOES THERE? The most difficult aspect of a redesign involves choosing an identity for your newspaper. Presumably, your newspaper’s identity should be derived from your community’s identity, unless your community consists of a penal colony, an industry that has been rendered obsolete by talking Japanese toy robots and a rehabilitation clinic for serial ax murderers. In that case you should put a large brown bag over your community and kidnap subscribers from other communities.
If felony is not an option and your community has no identifiable identity, it would be best if you published your newspaper under what is known as an Assumed Identity, which will then impart an Assumed Identity to your community so that nobody will know who anybody else really is, and your community will probably be crossed off the map, as if it were participating in a federal witness protection program.
WHAT’S IT GOING TO LOOK LIKE? Will your newspaper be gray and drab and remind the reader that he really should get going and have that will made out? Or will ti feature high-candlepower, dazzling color photographs, eye-popping graphics and multi-chromatic bar treatments, so that when the reader opens the page he is charred by third-degree powder burns?
Decisions, decisions. You can save yourself some trouble if you take this precaution: If the redesign looks bad, stick to your guns, at least for the first 10 minutes, then blame it on someone else such as the Advertising Department or the community. You can even blame it on the federal witness protection program. At any rate, it certainly wasn’t YOUR fault.
PRODUCING MOCKUPS: A number of pitfalls await the designer at this stage of the project.
1. You will be tempted to use may different typefaces so that your pages resemble ransom notes. Do not do this. Stick to only several hundred typefaces, and carefully regulate their usage, as in, “Helvetica may only be used when the Pope canonizes another street dweller” or, “Perpetua is reserved for stories about hang glider pilots who find religion in the clouds, not to mention birds of prey.”
2. You will be tempted to box as many stories and photographs as you can, which will look as if a spider’s web has been sucked into the press. It’s much easier if you use fewer rules but compensate by increasing the thickness of the rule. For example: DON’T use 400 one-point rules on a page. Instead, use a single 400-point rule.
3. Many, many years ago, as far back as the early ’80s even, it was decided that tint blocks could break up a gray page with the really novel approach of putting even more gray on the page. Now that pages resemble aerial photographs of Nebraska farmland, you may be tempted to refine the process by screening only selected passages of stories, as if your page had passed through the hands of Israeli censors.
I suggest you screen the entire page.
GETTING READY FOR THE REDESIGN: Eventually, you will actually have to do something to bring the redesign closer to reality, such as talking about having a negative of something made. This will require expertise in negotiating with the cameraroom, which means you should spend few hours each week at a pistol range before you actually go into the cameraroom to negotiate.
This is how the conversation might go if you are unprepared:
You: Excuse me, sir, but could you please make a negative of this? I know it’s an imposition and I promise to make it up to you somehow, though I can’t say when because little Billy needs an operation to remove my wife’s pacemaker from his stomach, which he accidentally swallowed when he was giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his older sister after she tried to hock the pacemaker to a neighborhood crack dealer and the FBI raided the place and she put it in her mouth to hide the evidence and then fainted because she’s hypoglycemic, and the only reason little Billy was there to save her was because she was supposed to be babysitting him since my wife is in the hospital having her intestines scraped.
Camerarooom dweller: Die and go to hell.
You: Yes sir, and thank you sir. You’ve been more than generous with your time.
But with adequate preparation, you can have the cameraroom eating out of your hands.
You: Hands up against the wall. Spread ’em! Make a negative of this and don’t give me any backtalk or I’ll blow your brains out all over the mounting plate with this .357 Magnum.
Cameraroom dweller: YES SIR! You’re a rough and tough newspaper designer, and I’m going to do exactly what you say right now! And how else may I serve you, Master?
CHANGE, CHANGE AND MORE CHANGE: At some point during the redesign process, probably between the “Developing of High Concepts” stage and the “Just Chewing the Fat about It” stage, keener minds will begin to suspect that a redesign might alter the newspaper’s appearance.
This must be avoided at all costs. Nobody must know anything – not even you. Otherwise, you will seriously reduce the level of confusion when the redesign debuts.
WHEN THE REDESIGN DEBUTS: You will know if the redesign is a success if you walk into the newsroom and are greeted with thunderous applause and the publisher hands you a check for $20 skillion dollars, in which case you should thank your producer, your director and all the little people who helped you.
But just to be on the safe side, have a Lear jet standing by with the engines running.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .