Is she the Minister of Cruelty, Minister of Ignorance, or both?
Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristie Noem. Image by Matt Johnson. CC license.
Ah, Kristie Noem. President Scarface’s secretary of Homeland Security.
I don’t know whether to refer to her as Minister of Ignorance or Minister of Cruelty because she seems to embody both titles.
I’m sure you remember the story about Kristie Noem and her mean dog. If not, let me provide a brief recap:
Kristie Noem had this dog she didn’t like. She said it was a mean dog, and it was unteachable.
Unlike most people, who would have taken the dog to an animal shelter so that maybe somebody else could adopt and try to rehabilitate it, Kristie Noem chose a different path. She took the dog out to the back 40 and unalived it with a pew-pew.
That would seem to tilt the scales in favor of Minister of Cruelty.
But then of course there was the other day at a Senate hearing where she was asked to define the term habeas corpus and she couldn’t. In fact, the definition she gave was the exact opposite of the meaning of the term. You would think the head of a significant law enforcement agency like Homeleand Security would know what the term habeas corpus means, but she did not.
That would seem to tilt the scales in favor of Minster of Ignorance.
In fact, cruelty and ignorance are defining characteristics of the entire President Scarface Cabinet.
You remember when Scarface was running for office and said he would hire only the very best people? Well, believe it or not, that was a lie. I know. It boggles the mind. But that’s the truth. He was lying to you.
He has only three requirements of his Cabinet officers:
1. They must be excruciatingly ignorant and cruel, and I’m combining those two characteristics because they seem to go together. Ignorance and cruelty are the defining characteristics for the entire MAGA movement. There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part, the MAGAs are ignorant and cruel.
2. They must be willing to lie. Some of them are very good liars. Kar-Kar Leavitt, and that Stepford Wife attorney general, Pam Bondi – excellent liars. Unsurpassed in lying. But then you have others, like Secretary of State Marco Rubio. I’ve actually met Marco Rubio in person. The man hasn’t had an original thought in his life, and there’s not one humorous bone in his body, but he’s not a very good liar. You can see it in his eyes. When he lies, he lacks conviction. He looks like a man trying to endure the unendurable.
3. They must be unswervingly loyal to the Master. They have to be willing to take one for the gipper, to fall on their swords, to do anything and everything to protect the Master, because this is not about serving the nation or its people. This is about keeping President Scarface out of jail while simultaneously fattening his wallet.
So there you have it, folks. The Unholy Trinity of President Scarface’s Cabinet: Ignorance and cruelty, a willingness to lie, and unswerving loyalty to the Master.
When this is over, if it ever ends, there may likely be some kind of Nuremburg. These people will testify that they were only following order.
No they weren’t.
They were not simply following orders.
They were willing, even gleeful participants in the crimes that are taking place in Washington, D.C. as we speak.
And they deserve every ounce of justice that will come their way.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
The other day I saw a video of our new attorney general, Pam Bondi – you know, that Stepford Wife – on one of those so-called news-opinion TV shows – I think it was Fox News (of course) – warning Americans that attacks on Tesla dealerships and Elon Musk would incur the full wrath of the Justice Department.
(For the record, people shouldn’t be torchingTeslas or threatening Musk’s life. But if they want to boycott Tesla and sell their Tesla stock, more power to them! Free markets, private sector, capitalism, rah rah!)
As I watched Attorney General Bimbette go through the motions of representing the nation’s legal interests while in actuality supporting a fascist junta, I said to myself, “Gosh, if she only cared as much about innocent schoolchildren being gunned down in their classrooms by maniacs with assault rifles.
“If she only had the same level of concern for members of the LGBTQ community who are being harassed, beaten and murdered by men who drive great big pickup trucks and have teensy weensy wee-wees.
“And if only the law was being as vigorously applied to her own boss, who is defying a judge’s order that he answer questions about a group of deportees sent to a prison in El Salvador.”
Or is it that the law only protects those who belong to their little club of ass-kissers and taint-lickers? Is that what’s going on, Pammy Pammy?
If I could give Bondi a piece of advice it would be this: Next time you go on TV, check your makeup. You had some kind of orange slime around the edge of your lips.
It wasn’t a good look for you.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .