It looks like the cons are conning the cons

So now they’re selling Alligator Alcatraz merchandise.

That’s right. An internment camp in the middle of a swamp in South Florida has its own line of merchandise – T-shirts, ball caps, water bottles … gosh, what’s next? Nipple rings and Fleshlights?

You know, it’s bad enough that they’re making light of human suffering, cracking jokes about possible escapees being devoured by alligators in the Everglades. Laura Looney, that nutcase, suggested there are a potential 65 million alligator meals in this country and that alligator lives matter too. That woman needs to be connected to a permanent morphine drip.

But yeah, they’re monetizing human misery. Says a lot about the character of this regime, doesn’t it?

And by the way, let me insert this thought into my narrative. If you buy any of this “merchandise,” you are human garbage. You really are garbage. I just want you to know that.

I can understand why they might want to make a little bit of extra money, though. Alligator Alcatraz was supposed to be a cooperative venture between the State of Florida and the federal government. But so far, the State of Florida has paid all the costs. FEMA, which is a subsidiary of the Department of Homeland Security, has allocated $625 million for the construction of that camp, and $450 million to operate it, but so far they haven’t given the State of Florida a plug nickel.

So there was Florida Gov. Ron DeFascist touring that internment camp, along with President 404 and Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, aka Gestapo Barbie, and DeFascist was grinning like a gargoyle. But I’ll bet behind the scenes he was sweating bullets because the State of Florida is now on the hook for a billion-dollar outlay that’s nowhere on the budget.

There’s some question as to whether the state will EVER see any of that money. Earlier this year Gestapo Barbie was having her ass chewed out in congressional hearings where it was made known she’d burned through a year’s worth of funding in six months. Critics said she was trying to invent money out of thin air and her department was “out of control.” Homeland Security runs out of money next week.

If they can’t pay a measly $625 million to build a concentration camp, how are they going to pay the billions of dollars required to help the victims of a hurricane if one strikes later this year?

So yeah, President 404 told us he’d hire “only the best people,” but so far it looks like he’s hiring cons. And the cons are conning the cons.

I wonder what’s next? Gator Chow? Something out of that movie “Soylent Green”?

Don’t laugh. At this point I wouldn’t put ANYTHING beneath this regime.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .