I gotta call bullshit on this one

So let me see if I’ve got this straight.

Our “president,” Donald J. Corleone Trump, wants to invade Canada and force it to become our 51^st state, snatch Greenland from our NATO ally Denmark, send the military into Mexico to wage war with the drug cartels, invade Panama and seize the Panama Canal, start a trade war with the entire world and simultaneous to all this shit balance the budget, pay down the debt, rebuild the country, solve the fentanyl crisis, bring down the price of eggs, bring down the price of gasoline AND cram 300 pounds of lard into an alleged 225-pound frame, thus defying the laws of gravity and physics, but he CAN’T get one guy – ONE GUY – out of a prison in El Salvador owned and operated by his pal, the cool dictator, who by the way looks like he should be working in a hair care salon in Beverly Hills. Donald J. Corleone Trump can’t do that?

I’m sorry guys but I gotta call bullshit on that one. That is some Grade A, world-class bullshit.

Does he think the rest of us are as dumb as the people who voted for him?

He needs to get off his lard ass, do what the Supreme Court told him to do and get that guy back here.

And while he’s at it, tell that Stepford Wife attorney general of his, Pam Bondi, to fix her roots. They’re looking pretty bad. Maybe the cool dictator hair salon guy can take care of that for her.

One last thing: I noticed the cool dictator wasn’t wearing a suit when he met with Trump, but nobody said a word. Where is Brian Glenn, corpulent trichinosis worm boyfriend of Queen of the Convenience Store Dumpster Trade Marjorie Taylor Greene, when you need him?

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .