Zelenskyy doesn’t wear a suit and the incels have got their knickers in a twist

It wasn’t long ago that President Michelin Man, that svelte, sleek, 225-pound, 6-foot 2-inch glistening example of American manhood – oh, give me a break. The guy’s 5-10 and weighs damn near 300 pounds and the only reason he glistens is because they’ve pumped him so full of Zocor the fat is oozing from his skin pores.

He and that little couch-fucking sock puppet of a vice president, J.D. Vance, who looks like one of those Christmas Nutcracker dolls that Ivanka dressed up with some eyeliner – they had to put plastic slipcovers on the Oval Office couch because Vice President Sock Puppet couldn’t remember to bring his trick towel – they were meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and they were making fun of him for not wearing a suit.

Actually, it wasn’t they who were making fun of him. It was a guy by the name of Brian Glenn, a fake reporter who’s a corpulent sac of pus. He has to wear a suit because that big belly of his would maim innocent bystanders if he didn’t.

He’s best known for being Marjorie Taylor Greene’s boyfriend. You know who Marjorie Taylor Greene is – that so-called U.S. representative from Georgia who spends all her time in the gym training for the Special Olympics. She’s also Pam Bondi’s sponsor in Bottle Blondes Anonymous. Anyway, it was Glenn who was making fun of Zelenskyy for not wearing a suit.

Meanwhile, just a few days ago, President Michelin Man hosted a meeting with another world leader, El Salvador’s “cool dictator” whose name I will not even attempt to spell because it looks like something out of Star Trek. He’s at left in the photo and let me ask you guys something: Is that a suit? With all that black is he the “cool dictator” or the “goth dictator”? Or maybe he’s just trying to evoke that Undertaker Chic look.

At any rate, why weren’t they making fun of him for not wearing a suit? Is it because they were afraid that one day he might be handing them orange jump suits and controlling their supply of Vaseline and Preparation H?

It’s just another example of MAGA hypocrisy. You know, like that kid on TikTok – what’s his name? Harry something. The kid with rosy cheeks who’s always bashing the Republicans and MAGA, and they bash him back, calling him “soy boy” and “beta male” – that is until they found out he was hooking up with every woman he could lay his hands on. They were instantly jealous. That’s because they’re all basement-dwelling incels who couldn’t get a date with a girl if they were incarcerated in a SuperMax prison for women. The only time they come out of the house is to go on a pew-pew spree like that nutcase at FSU.

I can’t wait for all these MAGA freaks to fly off to Mars with Elon Musk and eat asparagus the rest of their lives.

It’s gonna be a beautiful day.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .