The whiners are already complaining about Pride Month. I’ll see them on Grindr

Pride Month is coming up, and every year the same thing happens: A bunch of allegedly straight men start complaining, “Gosh, the queers get a whole month to be appreciated, and for the military? Nothing.”

Let me just nip that in the bud before it even gets started.

May is National Military Appreciation Month. The fact that these complainers didn’t know that proves they don’t really give a shit about the military. They just want to bash some gay people. To them I say, “Fuck you.”

Also, there are at least three other days of the year when the military is honored – Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and Armed Forces Day – PLUS a number of other days to honor various aspects of military life, such as Military Spouse Appreciation Day, even Military Dogs Appreciation Day.

I would be remiss in not pointing out that some of these complainers, maybe even many of these complainers, are sneaking around behind their wives’ backs, and their children’s backs, hooking up with other men for purposes of, shall we say, “intimate connection.”

How do I know this? Because I’ve seen them. I actually know some of them. They go on gay hookup apps, like Grindr, and use code such as, “Discretion is a must,” or “Cannot host.” That almost always means they’re married with kids and they don’t want to be exposed as the cheaters, liars and hypocrites they are.

I had one of these guys trap me in his pickup truck and practically beg me to do the nasty with him. He even gave me a passphrase to use on Facebook, because his wife has access to his Facebook account. He said that if I ever messaged him on Facebook, and used that passphrase, he’d be at my place in 5 minutes to do all the things he said he wanted to do.

Invariably, these complainers are conservative MAGA Republicans. The Republican Party is infested with so many repressed homosexuals that last year, during their national convention in Wisconsin, they crashed Grindr trying to arrange their illicit liaisons!

If these complainers would just admit that some people like their coffee black, and other people like their coffee with a little cream and sugar, the world would be a much better place.

Maybe I can say that to them personally, the next time I see them … on Grindr.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .