If you don’t know what you’re doing, at least look good while you’re doing it
Image by Donkey Hotey. CC license. https://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/
Pete Hogsbreath, our intoxicated secretary of defense who, after a long day of lying to the American public, fomenting chaos in the Pentagon and touching up his makeup, likes to sit back, relax and enjoy a few bottles of Old Granddad, recently had an unsecured internet line installed in his office so he could access the chat app Signals.
This is in the wake of Hogsbreath having two conversations on Signals with various members of the Trump regime in which classified and sensitive information was discussed.
THIS is in addition to Hogsbreath inviting his wife to attend sensitive military meetings with some of America’s former allies. I assume she was his designated driver.
And then just recently, Hogsbreath fired three subordinates – allegedly because they’d committed security breaches.
You’ll forgive me but I don’t think it takes a PhD in military affairs and security to figure out where those security breaches are coming from.
My God.
I don’t understand why this man is still a member of the Trump regime. I guess what I said yesterday is true – the only qualifications for belonging to Trump’s Cabinet are that you be white and slavishly faithful to whatever dumbass idea that man has come up with today.
Folks, this is all going to come back and bite us in the ass, bigtime.
Meanwhile, word has it Hogsbreath had a makeup room installed in the Pentagon.
Wow.
It just goes to show: If you don’t have a fucking clue what you’re doing, at least look good doing it.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Got a question for all the haters out there, the homophobes, the folks who are doing their very best to demonize the LGBTQ community – which would be the Republicans, the MAGAts, the so-called followers of Jesus … got a question for you guys.
When I grew up I was totally immersed in heterosexual culture. Every book I read, every TV show I watched, every movie I saw, every experience I had at school, all the couples I knew – everything, 100 percent, 24/7 heterosexual.
And yet, I didn’t turn out heterosexual.
How do you explain that?
And don’t try to tell me I chose to be gay. I most certainly did not. The science backs me up on that.
So how do you explain the fact that despite a total immersion in heterosexual culture, I’m not heterosexual.
And where do you get off saying that if your child so much as even knows about the existence of gay people, he or she might become gay? In light of my experience, how do you justify that? You use this mentality to pass laws, harass, threaten and marginalize the LGBTQ community.
Let me explain it to you. Reading about gay people in a book, seeing gay people in a movie or TV show, encountering gay people in real life, and knowing that gay people exist is NOT going to “make your children gay.”
And God forbid, treating gay people with the dignity and compassion you would any other human being is not going to make your child gay; it will make them a decent human being.
You are teaching your children to hate.
You need to stop.
You are hurting innocent people.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Y’all remember Sarah Huckabee Sanders, don’tcha?
She’s a good ol’ Southern girl. Maybe a little chunky. That’s because everything down here in the South is fried. You ain’t lived ’till you’ve had a fried Snickers bar.
Back in the day Sarah Huckabee Sanders was President Doublewide’s deputy press sow, but then she went on to bigger and better things. Got herself elected governor of the great state of Arkansas.
I was going to make some great state of Arkansas jokes but then I remembered – I live in Florida. We’re so backward down here the sun rises in the west. For fun we get drunk and run through convenience stores carrying live alligators – in fact, one ol’ Florida boy tried to get on an airplane carrying a live gator. Said it was his emotional support animal. The airline wasn’t buying it. They finally let ’im on when he came back with his emotional support water moccasin. As long as he kept it in his pocket. How would y’all like to be the TSA agent having to frisk that boy?
Anyways, back to Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the great state of Arkansas.
One day not long ago it come up a cloud. The great state of Arkansas had a mess of tornaders and frog stranglers – that’s polite Southern talk for “heavy rains.” Messed up a whole bunch of trailer parks.
So Sarah Huckabee Sanders thought she’d ask for some federal aid.
She goes to FEMA and says, “Can y’all help us?”
And FEMA says, “What the hell do you think we are? Some kind of disaster assistance agency? You want a deal on some FEMA trailers? You gotta talk to President Doublewide.”
Well, that didn’t sit too well with Sarah Huckabee Sanders. She said she was “stunned” and “appalled” that FEMA wouldn’t help. That’s polite Southern talk for, “What is this fucking bullshit?”
I bring all this up because in two weeks, hurricane season starts here in Florida, and I ain’t got a good feelin’ about it. See, our governor, Ron DeFascist, ain’t on good terms with President Doublewide – y’all know when I say “President Doublewide” I ain’t talkin’ about no house trailer. I’m talkin’ about the size of his ass – ever since DeFascist ran against President Doublewide in the last election. In fact, President Doublewide’s name for him was “Ron DeSanctimonious.”
Besides, DeFascist is kinda busy tryin’ to explain how $10 million of Agency for Healthcare Administration fines ended up in his two favorite super PACs. Well … there ain’t no explainin’ it. That’s just how things is done down here. Always has been.
Meanwhile, if one of them big howlers comes up from the Gulf of ’Merica, I ain’t expectin’ much in the way of help from the federal government.
I’m just gonna lay in a supply of pork rinds and cheap beer.
The state will provide the gators and the water moccasins.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Image by Gage Skidmore, CC license.
White House Spokeshrew Karoline Leavitt, a.k.a. Kar Kar, says the Justice Department eliminated 360 additional DEI-related jobs from the federal workforce just this week.
I was hoping Pete Hegseth would be one of them but then I remembered, he’s not DEI – he’s DUI.
Have you noticed the federal workforce is beginning to look a lot like Trump’s Cabinet – mostly male, mostly white, with just enough women to fetch the coffee and clean up afterwards, and if they have any of those parties where you leave your car keys in the glass bowl by the door, it won’t look weird … although I’m guessing Speaker of the House Mike Johnson won’t mind if it looks a little weird.
Yep, it’s just another brunch at the Pretoria, South Africa Yacht Club.
I mean, it’s a little racist, and a little sexist, but it’s both simultaneously. If you had to combine both offenses into a single term, what would you call that?
RaceX?
Hmmm. I think that might work. At least it rhymes with another South African innovation, SpaceX.
I think I might be on to something here!
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Well, the Japanese trade delegation arrived in the United States recently to make a deal. They left empty-handed.
They were frustrated.
Even angry.
They said it wasn’t possible to make a deal with the United States because the United States kept changing the terms of the deal.
They said the United States didn’t know what it wanted.
You know what that means.
There is no plan.
In fact, there never was a plan.
People who say Trump has a plan, that he’s a canny businessman who is playing the long game with the economy, that he’s 10 steps ahead of everybody else, don’t have a fucking clue what they’re talking about. They’re simply externalizing their blind faith that this huckster isn’t lying to them.
I’ve been around for awhile, about 70 years, and I’ve seen a few presidents in my day. Eisenhower, JFK, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama, Trump, Biden. Some of these people have been good presidents; some have been lousy presidents.
Trump makes the lousy presidents look like eminent statesmen.
He is, hands down, the worst president ever.
The absolute worst.
Not only that, but he’s an abysmal human being.
And you people who voted for him should never be allowed to vote again. You’re a good argument for requiring a license to vote. The damage Trump has done may very well be irreparable, and it’s your fault he’s there to do it.
It’ll take decades to fix this, assuming it can be fixed. We may never see an America with the leadership, statesmanship and governance worthy of the leader of the free world.
I hate what has been done to my country.
I grieve for America.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
I need to credit my friends Monte and Loloma with his one.
The MAGAts are always telling us how smart Donald Trump is. He’s 10 steps ahead of everyone else. He’s playing five-dimensional chess. Everything he does is calculated. He’s simply following the master plan – that only he can see.
I’d like to ask the MAGAts something.
He’s been raving for some time now about Canada becoming America’s 51st state. He brought up just the other day during a meeting with the head of NATO.
Canadians have made it very clear they’re not interested in becoming America’s 51st state. They’re quite happy being a sovereign nation, and they hate Donald Trump – they really hate him.
But let’s say that in some inconceivable fever dream rendition of the near future, perhaps induced by a tab of LSD, Canada, against its will, became the 51st state in the American union. Whom do you think 40 million pissed-off Canadians would vote for in the next election?
MAGA?
The Republicans?
Dementia Donald Trump?
Hell no! They’d vote for the opposition. The GOP would have its ass handed to it. We would finally see an end to the political existence of Trump, the Republicans and MAGA.
Hmmm. That doesn’t sound very smart to me. In fact, it sounds fucking stupid.
Why would Trump pursue such a course? Is there a hidden McGuffin I haven’t taken into account?
Or maybe he’s just a fucking idiot who doesn’t know what he’s going to do from one hour to the next.
I know one thing: Maybe having Canada as our 51st state isn’t such a bad idea after all.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Mere hours after Pope Francis passed away, Marjorie Taylor Greene, that fount of intellect, wisdom and compassion, tweeted, “Today there were major shifts in global leaderships. (sic) Evil is being defeated by the hand of God.”
Well, Madge, let me tell you something: Where I come from we have a way of summoning demons like you. We stand out in the back 40 and yell, “Sooooeeeey!” and all the little piggies come running, because that’s what you are, Madge. A P-I-G pig.
You want to see the face of evil? Take a look in the mirror.
You are so unutterably, despicably evil you make that movie “The Exorcist” look like an episode of Martha Stewart Living.
And look who you’re dating, Madge: That human colostomy bag, Brian Glenn. How revolting is that?
Next time, don’t fall asleep in the tanning booth. They still haven’t gotten the stench of scorched bacon out of that thing.
Maybe your next meeting can be with JD Vance.
Snicker.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
It wasn’t long ago that President Michelin Man, that svelte, sleek, 225-pound, 6-foot 2-inch glistening example of American manhood – oh, give me a break. The guy’s 5-10 and weighs damn near 300 pounds and the only reason he glistens is because they’ve pumped him so full of Zocor the fat is oozing from his skin pores.
He and that little couch-fucking sock puppet of a vice president, J.D. Vance, who looks like one of those Christmas Nutcracker dolls that Ivanka dressed up with some eyeliner – they had to put plastic slipcovers on the Oval Office couch because Vice President Sock Puppet couldn’t remember to bring his trick towel – they were meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy and they were making fun of him for not wearing a suit.
Actually, it wasn’t they who were making fun of him. It was a guy by the name of Brian Glenn, a fake reporter who’s a corpulent sac of pus. He has to wear a suit because that big belly of his would maim innocent bystanders if he didn’t.
He’s best known for being Marjorie Taylor Greene’s boyfriend. You know who Marjorie Taylor Greene is – that so-called U.S. representative from Georgia who spends all her time in the gym training for the Special Olympics. She’s also Pam Bondi’s sponsor in Bottle Blondes Anonymous. Anyway, it was Glenn who was making fun of Zelenskyy for not wearing a suit.
Meanwhile, just a few days ago, President Michelin Man hosted a meeting with another world leader, El Salvador’s “cool dictator” whose name I will not even attempt to spell because it looks like something out of Star Trek. He’s at left in the photo and let me ask you guys something: Is that a suit? With all that black is he the “cool dictator” or the “goth dictator”? Or maybe he’s just trying to evoke that Undertaker Chic look.
At any rate, why weren’t they making fun of him for not wearing a suit? Is it because they were afraid that one day he might be handing them orange jump suits and controlling their supply of Vaseline and Preparation H?
It’s just another example of MAGA hypocrisy. You know, like that kid on TikTok – what’s his name? Harry something. The kid with rosy cheeks who’s always bashing the Republicans and MAGA, and they bash him back, calling him “soy boy” and “beta male” – that is until they found out he was hooking up with every woman he could lay his hands on. They were instantly jealous. That’s because they’re all basement-dwelling incels who couldn’t get a date with a girl if they were incarcerated in a SuperMax prison for women. The only time they come out of the house is to go on a pew-pew spree like that nutcase at FSU.
I can’t wait for all these MAGA freaks to fly off to Mars with Elon Musk and eat asparagus the rest of their lives.
It’s gonna be a beautiful day.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
In response to my post about the FSU mass shooting I received a very nice message from a lady in Ireland, who said she could not understand why some Americans are so obsessed with guns.
She said in Ireland even the police don’t carry guns. They use tasers and pepper spray.
Well, I think I can answer her question.
I would start that there is a very strange disassociation that takes place in the minds of some Americans which separates their reality from a fantasy world they inhabit.
I call it the Wild West Mentality.
These people tend to see themselves as rugged individualists who have brought themselves up by their bootstraps, and as a consequence they can do whatever they want. They can follow whatever laws they want. They cut their own swaths, so to speak. And if things get tough or unpleasant, they can hop on the ol’ horse and ride off into the sunset, or settle their differences with firepower.
The reality is, they feel inadequate, and they need that gun to compensate for those inadequacies. They’re either under-endowed down below, or they’re emotionally crippled. The only way they can feel like real men is to strap a six-shooter to their hip.
Unfortunately, in the process of these people finding themselves, a lot of innocent, well-balanced Americans suffer the consequences. At least in some cases.
And that’s the sad truth, at least as I see it.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Image courtesy of Warner Brothers.
“Sinners” Starring Michael B. Jordan, Miles Caton, Saul Williams, Andrene Ward-Hammond and others. Directed by Ryan Coogler. 2 hours, 17 minutes. Rated R. Theatrical release.
Plot summary: Twin brothers Smoke and Stack return to their Mississippi hometown to open a juke joint after working for Al Capone in Chicago. That decision leads Smoke, Stack, and several of their relatives and friends into a confrontation – not just with racial prejudice and the poverty of Depression-era America, but a more sinister, otherworldly oppressive force.
Del’s take
Ryan Coogler channels “From Dusk Till Dawn” and “In the Heat of the Night” to make statements about racial prejudice, poverty and oppression with his new horror movie “Sinners,” out now in theaters.
The prolific writer, producer and director of films like Marvel’s “Black Panther” series, “Fruitville Station,” the “Creed” movies and even “Space Jam,” pulls no punches with his look at racism in Depression-era Mississippi, and the transformative power of music both within and outside the black community.
“Sinners” is a competent and entertaining movie, and if it sounds like I’m damning it with faint praise you are correct. While I think “Sinners” is a good movie, it has problems which I think stand in the way of it being a great movie.
The story follows twin brothers Smoke and Stack, both played in a remarkable performance by Michael B. Jordan, who have returned to their Mississippi roots to open a juke joint with money they “earned” by working for gangster Al Capone. They buy an old sawmill owned by a local white supremist and transform it into a backwoods dive bar after recruiting several of their former friends, family members and lovers to help.
But on opening night, music emanating from the joint reaches the wrong ears – a troika of vampires led by a centuries-old Irish bloodsucker, Remmick, who lays siege to the bar. Before the night is over scores of newly converted creatures of the dark are stalking the surviving humans with the intention of creating a “new world” where everyone is “equal” – equally dead, that is.
“Sinners” in some ways resembles “From Dusk Till Dawn,” the George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino and Danny Trejo vampire thriller of the 1990s, in that it uses the premise of a siege at a backwoods bar to explore complicated themes. But “Sinners” is more aspirational, sometimes poetic, sometimes confuddling.
Suffused throughout is music – not just blues but other kinds of music – hymns, Irish folk songs and the kind of raucous, dance-worthy music one would expect from a juke and jive joint. Clearly the message is that music possesses the power to transform and uplift. But the sword of song has two edges in that can also enslave and oppress. That part of the commentary, I think, is represented by the vampires, who appreciate a good dance tune themselves.
And what of those bloodsuckers? They’re symbols – for slavery, discrimination, prejudice, and the sense of futility that overcomes a group of people who are hopelessly oppressed. They offer an egalitarian future where everybody is hobbled by the same, soul-denying limitations. I see parallels between that message and the choices we Americans are being forced to make by an oppressive and autocratic regime that would have us all become well-behaved consumers of state-approved commodities, services and ideas.
Performances are mostly very good. As I said, Michael B. Jordan is remarkable as twin brothers Smoke and Stack, somehow evincing two distinctly separate personalities for the men. Miles Caton as the callow Sammie, a gifted guitarist and singer who throws in with Smoke and Stack despite his pastor father’s admonition that music will lead him down a sinful path, is also effective. My personal favorite was Wunmi Mosaku, Smoke’s former lover, a hoodoo practitioner who reminds us that Smoke is more than just a gangster. She impressed me with her authenticity and sympathy.
The score was terrific, a memorable, powerful presence in the movie. Be sure to stay in your seat through the credits – a Marvel-style coda, this one musical, awaits.
But the movie is not without its problems.
“Sinners” takes place during the height of the Great Depression yet everybody seems remarkably flush with cash, and nobody appears to be suffering. The movie conveyed little to none of the desperate poverty of that era, a sticking point for me. Also, the dialogue was often hard to hear or understand, maybe because I’m unfamiliar with black idioms, maybe because my hearing ain’t what it used to be. Full disclosure: I use closed-captioning for all videos I watch on Netflix, Apple TV and Prime.
I think director Coogler failed to resist the temptation of stereotyping, both black and white. The whites were a little too Southern for my sensibilities, if that makes sense. I understand the concept of murderously racist people but I’ve lived in the South practically my entire life and rarely have I encountered anyone like that. Meanwhile, even the black ne’er do wells leaned a bit saintly.
I couldn’t figure out what I call the “Irish connection.” Irish vampires, Irish music, Irish beer … what did it mean? Was Coogler drawing parallels between the black community and how Irish immigrants were treated in this country? I couldn’t decide.
My biggest gripe is that “Sinners” is too ambitious. Its message about music would have sufficed by itself, but to attack oppression, racism, poverty – many of the themes of human suffering – was almost too head-spinning for me to take in as a viewer. Kudos to Coogler for trying, but I was confused by the different elements competing for my heart.
Overall, “Sinners” is well put together and holds your attention for its 2-hour, 17-minute run time. Mladen and I caught a Saturday afternoon matinee and while the theater wasn’t empty, it was sparsely attended – nothing at all like our viewing of “A Minecraft Movie.” I believe all movies should be seen in a theater, at least the first time. We have the rest of our lives to stream them on little boxes in our hands.
I give “Sinners” a score of B on the strength of its ambitions, music, and technical achievements. I’m lowering my score for some logic and structural flaws.
It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty good.
Mladen’s take
The best musical made to date is poignant “Fiddler on the Roof.” The best vampire film made to date is a stunner from, of all places, Sweden. “Let the Right One In” combines friendship and menace with the most thoughtful end-of-movie slaughter recorded on celluloid.
“Sinners,” which Del correctly described to me immediately after we saw the film as a vampire musical but then avoided using it in his review, threatens neither for the title. “Sinners” is watchable. The music is terrific. Jordan handled the dual role of playing Smoke and Stack very nicely. All the supporting actors were top notch. Still, “Sinners” left me somewhat dazed and a bit unsatisfied.
Let us start with the movie’s violence. There was too much arterial bleeding depicted. It seemed like every other wound was obliged to squirt a lot for a long time. Be it a bite or a gun shot, the blood pulsed from bodies in streams like someone turning a water spigot on and off again and again. Necks gushed. Limbs sprayed. One abdomen geysered from a place where there are no major arteries. Sheesh. And, yeah, there’s a scene where, I don’t know, a dozen bad guys with pistols, revolvers, rifles, and shotguns were able to hit one of our protagonists only once and that was late in the gun battle. He, of course, put an end to all of them.
Also, there were two gratuitous sexual encounters in the movie. In the first instance, a deep, soulful kiss would have better represented two lovers finding each other after a long absence than the mating scene that unfolded. The second encounter was perfectly pointless.
Maybe the most irritating part of the movie was that a major plot point was revealed after some of the credits rolled. This wasn’t to set up sequel. The reveal actually had a direct link to the movie that had ended a couple of minutes earlier.
“Sinners” touches many themes. A young man torn between chasing a dream and staying on the right side of God as his preacher father interpreted God’s will by referencing the Bible. Slavery was abolished after the Civil War but Jim Crow reigned in Mississippi, where Smoke and Stack opened a juke joint in 1932 so that blacks could enjoy a bit of fun and freedom after the cotton had been picked. Is it better to stay human and endure social injustice spawned by something as biologically inconsequential as skin color or should I sacrifice my soul for a shot at righting wrongs such as the Ku Klux Klan?
“Sinners” illuminates or tackles these issues and others. But, that’s also what makes the film somewhat viewer unfriendly. It tries to do too much. At one point, the movie sallies deep into the past and far into the future and I’m like what the hell just happened?
“Sinners” is a movie with a conscience. It offers a unique, ambitious perspective on Mankind’s fallibilities. “Sinners” is also tough to follow, hitting the filmgoer with so much kinetic energy that they’re knocked off balance and beyond the capacity to absorb the issues it raises.
The movie is a B-.
Mladen Rudman is a former journalist and technical writer. Del Stone Jr. is a former journalist and writer.