A Florida live oak at Eden Gardens State Park in Point Washington. Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.
A wooded lot on Racetrack Road was recently cleared. A business was gained, and a couple of hundred trees were lost. But that’s not the whole story. A bit of smog control disappeared into the woodpile. Trees help filter pollutants… READ MORE
Jogging every morning has allowed me to become intimately familiar with my neighbors’ sprinkler systems.
I feel sorry for my neighbors. While they sit at work, comfortable that their yards are being watered, I am dodging clogged pop-up sprinklers or impulse sprinklers that are stuck watering the sidewalk.
Sprinkler systems are symptomatic of a lot of things going on in our culture, but mostly they represent our tendency to pursue convenience to absurd extremes.
Instead of taking a moment to move a $20 hose and sprinkler, we spend hundreds of dollars installing automatic systems that water the yard during rainstorms, or even the sidewalk.
Such is life in these United States. What we love more than gadgets is convenience. We love convenience so much that we sometimes become overwrought in our pursuit of it, sacrificing other, more important qualities.
Convenience becomes an end, not a means to an end.
I suggest the minor heresy that some things are better done the old-fashioned way, using the time-consuming, labor-intensive methods of our parents and grandparents.
No, we should not ride in horse-drawn buggies, pound our clothes against rocks or grind corn into flour on millstones. But likewise, we should not compose and print, say, a grocery list, using a $3,000 computer, when a pencil and a piece of paper work just fine.
This mad pursuit of convenience is not only stupid but leads to unforgiveable waste; of time, money, resources, intellect and imagination.
Consider, for instance, what happens around the household after a burp in the electrical grid causes the power to go off momentarily. Don’t you spend the next 10 minutes resetting digital clocks?
Worse are the sacrifices conveniences extract from the mind.
Once children were allowed to bring calculators into classrooms, knowledge about mathematics walked out the door. The study of numbers is a discipline of the intellect, requiring a grasp of abstractions and principles that transcends mere button-pushing.
Any fool can be taught to mash a 3 key, a PLUS key, a 5 key, and then an EQUAL key. But take away the calculator and ask the same question. See what the fool tells you.
At its worst, our mania for convenience teaches us that everything we do must be quick and easy.
Cooking, for instance, becomes a matter of microwaving, or eating out. Communicating is little more than bashing out a fragment and pressing the SEND key. “Love” is a latchkey relationship, existing only for so long as the ride goes smoothly.
Convenience rob an experience of pride, of thought, and finally, of meaning. Can a loaf of bread shipped up from a machine compare to the loaf you spent hours kneading with your flour-spotted hands? Is a hasty e-mail comparable to the letter your best friend wrote in her elegant cursives? Is a relationship without challenges really a relationship?
Some things require time, and effort, and thought.
So get out in your yard and drag hoses. It’s a hassle, but when you’re done, you’ll know the yard was watered.
And the job was done right.
This column was originally published in the Wednesday, June 10, 1998 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News and was used with permission.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone's stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra's Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year's Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone's comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled "December" for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman's Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone's novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild's award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida's best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn't look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Jogging every morning has allowed me to become intimately familiar with my neighbors’ sprinkler systems. I feel sorry for my neighbors. While they sit at work, comfortable that their yards are being watered, I am dodging clogged pop-up sprinklers or… READ MORE
Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.
When you’re next at a bookstore or newsstand, be sure to pick up the premiere issue of Vent magazine. Vent is published by Marta Randall, who is the wife of somebody you probably know: Rush Limbaugh. What you don’t know… READ MORE
In this photo the author (right) explains to visitors how the newspaper is assembled during an open house. Photo courtesy of the Daily News.
Very soon, the Daily News will abandon its old, proprietary computer system for a brand new, PC-based computer system. With this change, we will move up a notch in the high-technology race that seemingly shifted into high gear during the… READ MORE
Image courtesy of Flickr user Frank by way of a Creative Commons license. https://www.flickr.com/photos/frankonyc/
The other day, as I paid for a tank of gas, the lady behind the cash register offered to give me her son. “Take him. He’s yours,” she said exasperatedly. I felt my eyes darting, minnow-like. Where was this son?… READ MORE
Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons user Phoebe. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Phoebe
“Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients.” So says the label on a package of Ruffles WOW! ripple-cut potato chips. Perhaps you remember the story behind this label, which… READ MORE
Image courtesy of Alessandro Avilés of Pexels.
Confession is good for the soul. So is ranting. Here is this week’s rant. YOU STUPID IDIOT DRIVERS! Not you. But you other morons who tricked the DMV into giving you a license to kill. YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY! After… READ MORE
Once upon a time the beautiful beaches of Northwest Florida were freely accessible by the public. They're still beautiful - if you can get to them. Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.
In the shadow of Pride Week and Earth Day, you too could have spent your Saturday creeping bumper-to-bumper through Destin on your way to an oil-stained beach lined with murky brown water. Ah, the rewards of growth. Praise the Lord… READ MORE
Image courtesy of Wallpaper Flare. — On Feb. 26 the Daily News published a letter to the editor from a Mary White of Eglin Air Force Base, who wrote to lament that her daughter is a lesbian. In her letter,… READ MORE
Walmart is America’s store, isn’t that right?
At any Small Town, USA, you are likely to see a VGW hall, a Sunoco station, and a Walmart. Inside, you’ll find lots of red, white and blue amongst the $3.58 cases of Sam’s Club sodas. Walmart has staked its claim to the values embodied by rural America: community, fairness, and hard work.
At the soon-to-be-vacant Walmart on Mary Esther Cut-Off, you can see these values articulated on mission statements that hang above the shopping cart stall just inside the entrance.
Incredibly, you can also read about Walmart’s commitment to the environment. Walmart, the statement boasts, likes “to leave each community a little greener than we found it.”
(In fact, Walmart will hold a “town meeting” on April 22, Earth Day, to choose an environmental project its workers can perform for the following year.)
Now, I am as guilty as the next person of saving money at Walmart. Just the other night, I bought a battery for my car’s keyless entry system. The young fellow behind the camera counter dismantled my unit and replaced the battery for me. Walmart has always employed courteous workers.
So it is with a certain sense of misgiving that I hold my nose and gag when talk turns to Walmart’s commitment to the environment. “Walmart” and “green” do not leap to mind in any word-association test.
To be honest, when I think of Walmart, at least in an environmental context, I think of that ugly scar on Beal Parkway in Wright that was once a wooded lot and will soon become another warehouse-style hulk while its predecessor sits empty on Mary Esther Cut-Off.
I think of a huge gash bulldozed out of a unique and irreplaceable scrub forest east of Destin, and then a short time later, the building abandoned as a new and even bigger gash is taken out of the woodlands right next door for a Walmart Supercenter.
I also think of a Walmart building in DeFuniak Springs going unoccupied for two years as a new super store is built in the same town. (Walton County has agreed, in principle, to buy the building for office space.)
And I think of Walmart’s neighbors in anta Rosa County pleading with the store to tone down its garden center and parking lot lighting, and the store doing nothing – for months – until the County Commission threatened to withhold its certificate of occupancy, which they granted only minutes before the grand opening in January.
When I think of Walmart, I think of low prices and courteous employees.
But I also think of acres and acres of asphalt.
I think of a company that roars into town, plows down the woodlands, constructs its buildings, and shuts them down to build new and bigger buildings.
This strikes me as unconscionable waste and consumption.
But at least you can buy a case of house brand sodas for under $4. I suppose that’s what counts.
I have a suggestion for Walmart’s environmental project: Rewrite your company’s mission statement to say, “When we arrive in a community, we will build our store and STAY THERE. Amen.”
Unless it’s a different kind of “green” Walmart is talking about.
This column was originally published in the March 18, 1998 edition of the Northwest Florida Daily News and is used with permission.
About the author:
Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone's stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra's Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year's Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone's comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled "December" for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman's Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone's novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild's award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”
Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida's best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.
As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn't look a day over 94.
Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .
Walmart is America’s store, isn’t that right? At any Small Town, USA, you are likely to see a VGW hall, a Sunoco station, and a Walmart. Inside, you’ll find lots of red, white and blue amongst the $3.58 cases of… READ MORE