Bush’s choice of lieutenants resembles a casting call for ‘Legally Blonde’

Image courtesy of MSGT Tony Lambert, U.S. Air Force

When I think of the current administration and the job those people are doing, I am reminded of Irish setters abusing Quaaludes, or Inspector Clouseau trying to remove the shrink wrap from a CD while driving a stick shift through… READ MORE

How do I annoy thee?

Image courtesy of Picryl by way of a Creative Commons license.

Husband: Hello, Honey Bunny. Guess where I’m standing? <Chirp!> Wife: Hi, Sunggle-Icious. You’re standing in line at the grocery store checkout. <Chirp!> H: Ha, ha! You cheated, Snooky-Ookems. You peeked at the camera on my new walkie-talkie cell phone. And… READ MORE

Yes, Virginia, they can cash a check that isn’t made out to them

Image courtesy of Flickr user jridgewayphotograph by way of a Creative Commons license. https://www.flickr.com/photos/jridgewayphotos/

About halfway through today’s Pulitzer contender you will mutter, “Stone, you dunce. You don’t have the sense God gave the clown known as ‘Idiot Face.’ ” I was paying bills in my post-work fugue state. I’m sure you’re familiar with… READ MORE

It’s time for the adults to lay off and leave the kids alone

Image courtesy of pxfuel. — I don’t imagine Thursday, the first day of school, was much fun for a certain group of IB students at Choctawhatchee High School. To bring you up to speed, the students were quoted in a… READ MORE

Wednesday was Take-the-Cats to the Vet Day. Oh boy

Photo courtesy of Del Stone Jr. — Wednesday was Take the Cats to the Vet Day. Lest you think this is a trivial subject unworthy of a column, let me assure you I am tired of solving world peace, curing… READ MORE

A future without the web in ‘Live without a Net’

[ Cover image courtesy of rawpixel.com . ]

From Amazon: Imagine a future without cyberspace or without the Web or virtual reality. What would happen in an alternate Information Age? What would you do? What would you fear? What wouldn’t you know? Today’s top masters of speculative fiction… READ MORE

After watching ‘The Ring,’ my calls can go to voicemail

Image courtesy of DreamWorks

Night. The leathery dark of the alone. A good time for a horror movie. “The Ring” on DVD. Missed it in the theater. They said it was scary. Horror movies no longer scare me. Things like colonoscopies scare me. Turn… READ MORE

It’s not progress if it lowers the quality of life

Image courtesy of Del Stone Jr.

Well, well. Here we sit on Okaloosa Island. On the right lies our scenic marina-slash-sewer, aka Choctawhatchee Bay. Rumors of the Gulf of Mexico place it to our left, its existence privy only to the gloating apparatchiks who inhabit the… READ MORE

Welcome to our little town, with its own pet crematorium

This image was obtained from the town of Cinco Bayou's website.

Welcome to the town of Cinco Bayou, a pleasant enclave amid a sea of tackiness, its tree-lined streets providing access to quaint shops and beautiful homes … and now, in an exciting new development, a pet crematorium. Cinco Bayou is… READ MORE

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I promise never to do these things again

I just finished typing 300 column inches of Mother’s Day testimonials from kids and teens. My fingers have boo-boos. I need Mommy to kiss them and make them better. (I should mention I had LOTS of help from Angie Toole,… READ MORE