Ain’t it scary waiting for the doctor’s office to call with the news?

Photo courtesy of Pxfuel and provided under the auspices of a Creative Commons license.

Twice a year I get a blood test, which my doctor uses to show me how I need to do things like eat better, lose weight, and lay off the alcohol. One of the factors he tests for is PSA – prostate specific antigen, for those of you unfamiliar with that odious abbreviation. The PSA is indicated on a numerical scale; the higher the number, the greater the chance of prostate cancer. Anything above a 4 is considered suspicious. Mine has been hovering around 3 the past few years, which is normal for guys my age.

In January, it suddenly went up to 3.7.

My stomach sank. I think any man would react that way. A sudden jump like that … well, the brain automatically goes to worst-case scenario.

My doctor immediately scheduled a followup blood test.

Meanwhile, I immediately set about researching what could have boosted my PSA – the causes that weren’t spelled c-a-n-c-e-r. I found, for instance, that an infection would do the job. Also, and you’ll forgive me this TMI moment, an ejaculation prior to the blood test. When I read that my heart lightened, because that very morning, only an hour or two before the test … well … I’ll just leave it at that.

A month later I sat in my doctor’s office, fidgeting, wanting to be out of there so I could resume my day. I was confident he would tell me the number had gone back down. I had things to do.

He came in, glanced at the test results, and said, “Dude, it’s gone up again. 4.8.”

I sat in the chair like a dead slab of meat, shocked into silence. Had I heard that right? 4.8? That was way above the red line. That was bad. A flurry of images raced through my brain, most of them involving doctors and surgery and pain. And I was due to join Medicare in the near future. Would this affect that somehow? Would I be denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition?

The whole thing scared the hell out of me and I wanted nothing to do with it. Dr. J. assured me it wasn’t necessarily bad news. He pointed out the possibility of an infection and suggested we try a couple of weeks of antibiotics. And NO fooling around for a full three days prior to the blood test.

Man, that was a long three days.

And when I got the blood test, I told my favorite vampire, Parris, not to find any elevated PSA levels. “You didn’t do that last time and now I’m here again – all because you didn’t do your job last time.” She vowed she would do better.

It has been an agonizing week, waiting for the results. My anxiety levels were even higher due to chaos at work and insurance worries, and whether I would have to set aside all my plans and hopes for the future due to an unexpected medical crisis.

As I drove home from my dental appointment this morning, where I learned I am grinding my teeth to dust over stress, the telephone rang. It was my doctor’s office, calling with the results of my latest blood test.

Back to a normal 3.2.

I wanted to climb out of the car, right there on Eglin Parkway, and dance in the street. My relief was not just “palpable.” It was like a freaking propane burner under a hot-air balloon. My future had been handed back to me.

I am grateful. So very, very grateful. No matter what shitty things happen for the rest of this day, I will be grateful, and happy.

And I am relieved.

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .