Hey MAGAts? I thought your boy, Diaper Donnie, was supposed lower the price of eggs

I’ve got a question for the MAGAts:

The other day I filled up the gas tank on my car. The price seemed kind of high so I checked – gas was 23 cents a gallon higher on Wednesday than it was on Jan. 20, 2025, when Joe Biden left office.

Why is that?

I thought your boy, Diaper Donnie, was going to fix all that! Isn’t that what he said? Prices will come down? On day one?

He can’t use the pandemic as an excuse. The United States is the world’s number one producer of oil, so he can’t use that as an excuse. America leads the world in exploring for new oil resources, so he can’t even use that for an excuse.

It’s like the price of eggs. Didn’t he say he was going to lower to the price of eggs? Because I checked this week – eggs are A DOLLAR higher now than they were when Sleepy Joe left office. A DOLLAR!

I don’t get it. Gas prices are higher. Egg prices are higher. Unemployment is higher. Inflation is higher. The only things lower are the stock market and consumer confidence.

Trump said he would lower the price of eggs. Then he said we might have to go through some temporary pain before prices come down. Now he’s saying he wishes people would stop bitching about the price of eggs.

Wow, what an accomplishment. I’m so glad you, ahem, “intellectually impaired individuals” elected Donald Trump president.

He really is making America “great” again.

Or is that “grate”?

About the author:

Del Stone Jr. is a professional fiction writer. He is known primarily for his work in the contemporary dark fiction field, but has also published science fiction and contemporary fantasy. Stone’s stories, poetry and scripts have appeared in publications such as Amazing Stories, Eldritch Tales, and Bantam-Spectra’s Full Spectrum. His short fiction has been published in The Year’s Best Horror Stories XXII; Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; the Pocket Books anthology More Phobias; the Barnes & Noble anthologies 100 Wicked Little Witch Stories, Horrors! 365 Scary Stories, and 100 Astounding Little Alien Stories; the HWA anthology Psychos; and other short fiction venues, like Blood Muse, Live Without a Net, Zombiesque and Sex Macabre. Stone’s comic book debut was in the Clive Barker series of books, Hellraiser, published by Marvel/Epic and reprinted in The Best of Hellraiser anthology. He has also published stories in Penthouse Comix, and worked with artist Dave Dorman on many projects, including the illustrated novella “Roadkill,” a short story for the Andrew Vachss anthology Underground from Dark Horse, an ashcan titled “December” for Hero Illustrated, and several of Dorman’s Wasted Lands novellas and comics, such as Rail from Image and “The Uninvited.” Stone’s novel, Dead Heat, won the 1996 International Horror Guild’s award for best first novel and was a runner-up for the Bram Stoker Award. Stone has also been a finalist for the IHG award for short fiction, the British Fantasy Award for best novella, and a semifinalist for the Nebula and Writers of the Future awards. His stories have appeared in anthologies that have won the Bram Stoker Award and the World Fantasy Award. Two of his works were optioned for film, the novella “Black Tide” and short story “Crisis Line.”

Stone recently retired after a 41-year career in journalism. He won numerous awards for his work, and in 1986 was named Florida’s best columnist in his circulation division by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. In 2001 he received an honorable mention from the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association for his essay “When Freedom of Speech Ends” and in 2003 he was voted Best of the Best in the category of columnists by Emerald Coast Magazine. He participated in book signings and awareness campaigns, and was a guest on local television and radio programs.

As an addendum, Stone is single, kills tomatoes and morning glories with ruthless efficiency, once tied the stem of a cocktail cherry in a knot with his tongue, and carries a permanent scar on his chest after having been shot with a paintball gun. He’s in his 60s as of this writing but doesn’t look a day over 94.

Contact Del at [email protected]. He is also on Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, TikTok, and Instagram. Visit his website at delstonejr.com .