Mladen and Del review ‘The Dog Stars’

20th Century Studios

“The Dog Stars” starring Jacob Elordi as the boy next door Hig, Margaret Qualley as the girl next door Cima, Josh Brolin as no‑mercy Bangley, Guy Pearce as goodly hearted gruff Pops, Allison Janney as perfect religionist Darlene, and others. Directed by Ridley Scott. Written by Peter Heller, Mark L. Smith, and Christopher Wilkinson. Score composed by Harry Gregson‑Williams. 1 hour, 58 minutes. Rated R. Theatrical release.

Plot summary: The world has ended. Correction, civilization has ended but the Earth is doing just fine, thank you. A virus has drop-kicked most of humankind between the uprights of the goalpost called Oblivion. Of course, there are survivors. Some are good folk and the rest MAGA. Who prevails? Can either type of Homo sapiens find Shangri La amid the urban, suburban, and rural desolation and bursts of savagery? 

Spoilers: Yeah, but, hell, we don’t tell you how the movie ends.

Mladen’s take

Ever watch an anti‑insomnia screen saver playing gently falling rain or wind blowing through tree tops or fish swimming in an aquarium? Well, that’s “The Dog Stars” in a nutshell, mostly.

The film is a mellow take on the end of the world with bits of violence thrown in to add noise. And, this surprises the shit out of me, I could’ve done without the bloodshed. Sure, bullets have to cackle, grenades have to explode, and watchtowers must topple, but it all could’ve happened off-screen or in low light.

What I enjoyed consistently about “The Dog Stars” was the sweeping cinematography, all of it accompanied by a barely noticeable, though hypnotic, score. The panoramic moments when the little Cessna is flying below mountain tops or turning to track a river were soothing. Then, before you know it, some Hellraiser is launching an RPG at one of our heroes or there’s a bunch of horseback‑riding hooligans shooting at the above mentioned Cessna at close range without knocking the Little Airplane That Could out of the sky. Remarkable luck for Cima, Hig, and Pops, no?

As for what you’re about to read, all I can say is this. It’s not my fault. The languorous flow of the story, the loveliness of the land outside cities, forced me to put this to paper. I liked watching the relationship between Cima and Hig unfold. The kids were wounded. The kids adored each other. But the kids never succumbed to lust. Cima was patient with Hig as he tried to shed the past. Hig knew all along that Cima was beyond great. Dang, I’m almost teary eyed.

The best part of the film, by far, however, was the 10 minutes of screentime by Janney as Darlene. I could’ve used a whole lot more of Darlene’s menacing and maniacal presence as a lethal Holy Roller. Man, it was reminiscent of the role played by Marcia Gay Harden as Mrs. Carmody in “The Mist” (2007). Harden should’ve earned the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for that superb bit of acting. Still pissed, I am, that she didn’t. The way Harden escalated the religion‑fired fanaticism in the grocery store was brilliant. The way Janney sprinted from welcoming air traffic controller Darlene to getting set on fire was terrific. Somehow, in the short span that Janney was on the screen, the Grand Junction airport terminal scene went from suspiciously friendly to grotesquely inhumane without faltering into the absurd. Well done and it was all her.     

I’m giving “The Dog Stars” an A- because of its narcotic effect on me. It made me feel that the end of civilization won’t be so bad after all. And, thank goodness, the dog died. Take it away, Del.

Del’s take

I didn’t actively hate this movie but I DID actively hate the damn dog.

Talk about annoying. Man, I HATED that damn dog. He was overeager. He was into everything. He was constantly yipping or whining. At one point I thought he was going to fly the fucking airplane. His attitude could have been improved with Adderall but I guess Ridley Scott didn’t think that far into it.

Annoying pooches notwithstanding, what about “The Dog Stars” itself? Well, to be blunt, I never knew the end of the world could be so boring. This movie somnambulates between threatless and dare I say racist action scenes to maudlin periods of introspection and hyperglycemic pastoral myths, all told through a drab, bluish color palette and mumbling dialogue that does little to advance the plot, shed light on the characters or build tension.

Hig (Jacob Elordi) is a former mechanic who survived a world-ending viral pandemic and is hiding out at a remote Colorado airstrip with Bangley (Josh Brolin), a cynical and coldly realistic survivalist who shoots anybody who approaches their redoubt. Hig spends his time delivering supplies to a nearby Mennonite community and visiting his old home in Denver, where he grieves the death of his pregnant wife. The appropriately named Bangley passes his days scanning the treeline for intruders, his trusty high-powered rifle at the ready.

During a flight, Hig hears a radio transmission from a sender in Grand Junction and decides he should investigate. This decision underlines the essential difference between Hig and Bangley: Hig craves community and togetherness. Bangley is content with the isolated safety of their status quo. After an attack by intruders claims the life of his beloved pooch, Jasper (damned irritating dog), Hig’s mind is made up: He’s going to Grand Junction.

Along the way his plane develops engine trouble and he lands near a ranch, where he meets Cima (Margaret Qualley) and her father, Pops (Guy Pearce). Over time the inevitable romance blooms between Hig and Cima, hobbled by mutual guilt: They’re both reluctant to abandon the memories of their spouses, who died as a result of the virus. But an attack by savages forces their hand and all three flee in Hig’s newly-repaired plane. They fly to Grand Junction, where they encounter a large enclave of people living pretty much as they did before the pandemic. Except they aren’t. I’ll let that part be a surprise.

Mladen correctly points out the cinematography is superb. The sight of Hig’s yellow Cessna sailing between the craggy peaks of the Rocky Mountains is breathtaking. And there’s a pleasing note of nostalgia to one of the movie’s core themes, that maybe we could actually shed the technological impositions of the 21^st century – smart phones, artificial intelligence and social media – and return to our simpler, agrarian roots. Who knows? Maybe we’d find happiness there. We sure as hell ain’t finding it here.

But “The Dog Star”’s liabilities outweigh its virtues.

Almost no explanation is given for the existence of the ferals, who bear an uncanny resemblance to similar characters in the Mad Max movies and “The Walking Dead.” And there were moments during one of the attack sequences when I could swear I was watching a scene from a 1950s-vintage cowboy vs. injuns movie. I could even hear war whoops in the background.

The segment involving Grand Junction, a critical plot element, comes and goes with such rapidity that one wonders why it was even included in the story, unless it was to buttress Bangley’s assertion that risking happiness is stupid and will get you killed. That message won’t resonate with modern audiences. It didn’t resonate with me and I’m an old fart! Also, Elordi plays Hig with a kind of fumbling earnestness I assume is meant to be endearing, but honestly, I found it to be suggestive of somebody who’s on the spectrum. Bangley is a stereotype who we know, by movie’s end, will emerge from his chrysalis of cynicism. Won’t any movie director challenge us with a character we haven’t met a thousand times before?

Overall, I thought “The Dog Stars” was an expenditure of pointless energy. I’m not sure what I was supposed to get out of it – that change is bad? Be satisfied with what you have? Never risk happiness? Beats the hell out of me.

Mladen was far too generous in his score. He’d been to a birthday party in the hours before the movie and I think that slice of birthday cake must have screwed up his blood sugar. There is no way in hell “The Dog Stars” is worth an A-. I’d give it a C, and that’s being generous.

Mladen Rudman is a technical writer and former journalist. Del Stone Jr. is a writer and former journalist.